Military romance scam

How It Works

Military romance scams are among the most common and effective types of romance fraud. Scammers exploit the respect and admiration people feel toward service members to build trust quickly and extract money. Here is how the scam operates:

1. Stolen identity: The scammer creates a profile using photos stolen from real soldiers, often found on social media, military websites, or news articles. They adopt a rank, unit, and backstory to appear credible.
2. The deployment excuse: They claim to be deployed in a conflict zone such as Syria, Afghanistan, or Africa. This conveniently explains why they cannot meet in person, make regular phone calls, or do video chats.
3. Communication restrictions: The scammer says military regulations prevent video calls, or that the internet connection at their base is too unreliable. This eliminates the primary way a victim could verify their identity.
4. Money requests begin: After establishing a deep emotional bond, the scammer starts requesting money for plausible-sounding military-related needs: a satellite phone to keep in touch, a laptop, a leave application fee, a customs fee for a package being shipped home, or a military discharge fee.
5. Escalation and invented obstacles: Every time the victim pays, a new obstacle appears. The leave was denied and needs a higher fee. The package was seized and requires customs bribes. A military lawyer is needed. The requests never stop until the money runs out.

Signs to Detect It

These red flags should immediately raise suspicion:

• The person claims to be a high-ranking officer but contacts you through a dating site or random social media message.
• They say they cannot video call because of "military security protocols." Real soldiers deployed overseas can and do video call family.
• They ask for money to process leave, pay for flights home, or cover military fees. The U.S. military does not charge service members for leave or deployment-related travel.
• They claim to need money for food or medical care. Military personnel receive these through their service.
• Their English may contain grammatical patterns inconsistent with a native speaker from the country they claim.
• A reverse image search of their photos reveals they belong to a different real person.

Typical Example

Linda, a 48-year-old nurse in Texas, received a friend request on Facebook from "Sergeant Major Kevin Brooks," a handsome man in military dress uniform. His profile was filled with patriotic posts and photos in combat gear. Kevin said he was a widower deployed to Syria with the U.S. Army and that he was raising a 10-year-old daughter who was staying with a nanny back home.

Over four months, Kevin messaged Linda every morning and night, telling her she was the reason he kept going. He talked about his late wife, his dreams of retiring to a quiet life, and how Linda was the answer to his prayers. When Linda asked for a video call, Kevin said his base only had text-capable satellite connections and that video was restricted for operational security.

Then Kevin said he had been approved for leave to visit Linda but needed $1,200 for a "military leave processing fee." Linda sent it. A week later, Kevin said his leave was approved but the flight costs were not covered because it was personal travel: $2,500. Linda paid again. Then his daughter needed emergency dental surgery: $3,000. Then his "military footlocker" containing valuables was being shipped to Linda but got held in customs: $5,000.

After sending nearly $15,000, Linda discovered through a reverse image search that Kevin's photos belonged to a real Army officer who had publicly warned that his photos were being used by scammers. Linda had been communicating with a criminal syndicate, likely operating from West Africa.

What to Do If You're a Victim

If you suspect or confirm you have been targeted by a military romance scam, act immediately:

1. Cease all communication: Block the scammer and do not respond to any further messages, even if they claim an emergency or threaten to harm themselves.
2. Preserve evidence: Screenshot all conversations, profile pages, photos sent, and financial transaction records before the scammer deletes their accounts.
3. Notify your financial institution: Contact your bank or wire transfer service. Report the transactions as fraudulent. Time is critical for potential recovery.
4. Report the scam:
   • FBI IC3: File a complaint at ic3.gov
   • FTC: Report at reportfraud.ftc.gov
   • Action Fraud (UK): Report at actionfraud.police.uk
   • U.S. Army CID: Report military impersonation at cid.army.mil
5. Report the fake profile: Report the scammer's profile on the dating site or social media platform where you were contacted.
6. Seek support: Speak to a counselor or join a support group. Organizations like the AARP Fraud Watch Network offer free resources for romance scam victims.