Fanny

My name is Fanny, I'm 40 years old, and I'm testifying on behalf of my father. He is 81 today. For five years, he was the victim of multiple romance scams that cost him over 300,000 euros. A former senior executive, a brilliant and cultured man, he is now banned from banking and was suspected of money laundering by the police. This is our nightmare.

A Vulnerable Man

My father lost my mother seven years ago. They had been married for 52 years. After her death, Dad fell apart. He lived alone in their large house, refused to go out, barely ate. To stimulate him, my brother gave him a tablet and set up accounts on several social networks. We thought it would help him stay connected to the world. It was the worst decision we ever made.

Within weeks, my father was receiving dozens of messages from women on Facebook, Instagram, and even on dating sites where he had signed up on his own. Women aged 35 to 50, always very beautiful, always in dramatic situations. He started responding to all of them, convinced these women genuinely needed help.

The Financial Hemorrhage

It wasn't one scammer but several — perhaps dozens — who operated in succession or simultaneously. My father was sending money to "Nathalie" for her hospital bills, to "Jessica" for her plane ticket, to "Marie-Claire" to release a blocked inheritance. The scenarios all looked the same, but Dad didn't make the connection.

Over five years, he emptied his savings accounts, sold financial investments, cashed out a life insurance policy, and took out loans. When banks started refusing, he borrowed from acquaintances — without telling them why. A former colleague contacted us, worried, after Dad had asked him for 20,000 euros "for urgent repairs."

The Denial

The most painful part of this story is my father's denial. Despite the evidence we showed him — reverse image searches, articles about scams, identical testimonials — he refuses to admit he was manipulated. He says that "some were real," that "Nathalie at least was sincere." He gets angry when we insist.

A psychiatrist explained to us that for an isolated elderly person, these exchanges had become his reason for living. Accepting reality would mean accepting that five years of his life had no meaning, that none of these women existed, that he had been alone from the start. It is a trauma his mind refuses to face.

Our Daily Life Today

Today, I monitor my father's emails every day. I've installed filters on his mailbox, restricted his access to social media, and blocked his bank cards. I've become his guardian, and he resents me for it. He says I treat him like a child. Our family meals are tense. My brother, exhausted, has distanced himself.

My father has been banned from banking for two years. His executive pension, which should have ensured a comfortable retirement, goes entirely toward repaying his debts. He lives on the minimum, in a house he will probably have to sell. The brilliant man who once managed teams of a hundred can no longer manage a bank account.

I'm sharing this because families are victims too. We live with the guilt of not seeing it sooner, with the helplessness of facing denial, with the anger at criminals who deliberately target the elderly. If you have an elderly parent living alone, be vigilant. Talk to them. Take an interest in their online life. It's not about surveillance — it's about protection.

What This Story Teaches Us

• Isolated elderly people are priority targets. Bereavement, loneliness, and unfamiliarity with digital norms create extreme vulnerability. Scammers identify and target them methodically on social networks.
• Multiple scammers can target the same victim simultaneously. Criminal networks share lists of "good targets." A person who has paid once will be contacted again and again by different scammers.
• Denial is a protection mechanism, not stupidity. Accepting that you have been manipulated for years is psychologically devastating. The victim needs therapeutic support, not blame.
• Legal consequences can compound the trauma. Victims who make numerous international transfers can be suspected of money laundering. This unjust double punishment discourages victims from filing reports.